I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We need to get me chipped asap
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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