i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize