Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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