spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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