If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
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You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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