So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
