So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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