I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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