I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
