Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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