he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
