You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize