i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
