HIV tests are more positive than that guy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
