Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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