I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize