your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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