Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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