My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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