Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
