Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
