my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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