Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
