Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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