I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
