She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
