he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
