WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
