so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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