Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
