I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize