you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
