Apparently you make a good broom.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
