so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
