He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
