she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
