He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
