I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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