just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
