You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize