His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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