A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
