Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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