Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
