kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i out mim tonsoeep
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
