No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
