i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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