He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
