Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
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