were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
