She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
