Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just want to make out with him forever
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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