I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he puts the penis in happiness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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