I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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