No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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