I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
