just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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