Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
