i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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