you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
