Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
