I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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