He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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