did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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